she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
