I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
