that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
