garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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