The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
