Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
