i'm signing you up for texting rehab
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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