We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
