I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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