he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
