my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
