I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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