fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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