he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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