i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
