one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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