why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
