dude i'm inner monologue high
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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