happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
