6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
