White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize