is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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