And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
