Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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