he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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