I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
