Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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