I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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