why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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