I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
