Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
