I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
