So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
