Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
