Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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