At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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