Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize