What a fucking waste of an outfit
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
