i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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