Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've blown a few things in my day
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
