so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
