capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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