there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
