the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
