Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
