I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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