my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
