I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
