jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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