; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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