What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
