Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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