well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
