Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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