we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
sex in a hospital.. check
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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